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Joke of the Day

"My son just chewed gum during his entire bath. I eagerly await a cease-and-desist order from Burt Reynolds's attorney."

"So I was walking down the street when..... Someone threw a block of cheese at me, so I turned and said, that's not very mature!"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Safari Barbie ...with rifle pith helmet and pygmy guide"

"What is the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer came back"

"Have a very Joseph Christmas! We shouldn't discriminate by sex, you know."

"Benefits of dating me: 1. You're the smart one"

"Did such a great job cutting down a tree yesterday The neighbours clapped as I took a bough"

"Hey Target, it's Mid October, calm the fcuk down!-Santa"

"How do you sink a norwegian submarine? You knock on the door. How do you sink the same sub again? You knock on the door and they'll come out saying ""Haha! We're not falling for that one again!""."

"Q: How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day? A: They are both up to something."