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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I hear someone scream ""Call an ambulance,"" I'm like, um, ever heard of email"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock, knock.... Who's there? The chicken."

"basically the first settlers were those people who go to a party & won't leave even though the indians were checking their watches & yawning"

"Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences? Because there is a lot of reposting to do."

"sometimes i literally would stop replying to someone for a whole hour because i be googling a very specific reaction gif for the convo"

"Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now."

"Marijuana was a big problem in Auschwitz. Jews would go there just to get baked."

"I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive."

"How high is a stoner sailor? Sea Level."

"An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles... He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm."