24853

Joke of the Day

"Marijuana was a big problem in Auschwitz. Jews would go there just to get baked."

"How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: *rocks boat* Her: Hey! Me: *rocks faster* Her: Can we PLEASE go steady? Me: I do."

"So I went to my Hipster drug dealer last night... He gave me an instagram"

"If Joseph Stalin completed all of his highschool credits Does that make him a Stalingrad?"

"Dad, are ghosts real? Dad: No son, of course not Son: The nanny said they are Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny"

"Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me."

"Isn't calling soccer a sport like calling Ru Paul a woman?"

"Not saying dogs are better than kids in every aspect; but good luck finding a kid willing to lick up his own vomit."

"Student l: ""Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?"" Student 2: ""They are?"" Student 1: ""Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!"""

"so my girl friend just called me a pedofile i told her that was a big word for a 5 year old"