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Joke of the Day

"How are 4chan and Tumblr alike? They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting"

"I've finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a stand-up comedian Thank you prosthetic legs!"

"What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair."

"I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that."

"Is pikachu called pikachu because he always say pikachu or is he saying pikachu because he is pikachu?"

"Clearly I have no shame but thanks for asking. You must be new here."

"Watched the new Star Wars movie at an outdoor theater..... Watched the new Star Wars movie at an outdoor theater after dusk. It was a Jedi night."

"Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown."

"""she's too good for him"" ""he doesn't deserve her"" ""she should be with me"" ""I need a good girl like that"" --me looking at other people's dogs"

"Blonde Jokes What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red? Selling her soul for intelligence"