154705

Joke of the Day

"Han Solo asks Yoda, ""Master Yoda, are we going the right way?"" Yoda replies, ""off course, we are"""

"What do you call a slutty housewife? A dirty dishwasher."

"I posed naked for a magazine today. Although from the reaction I got I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money."

"Me: I must warn you, I'm like an animal in bed. Her: That's fine by me! *burrows under the covers and falls asleep at the foot of the bed*"

"What do you do if a bird shits on your windscreen? Don't ask her out again."

"Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer One turns to the other and asks, ""*does this taste funny to you?*"" The other responds, ""*no.*"""

"Why doesn't anyone in [insert nations capital] use the toilet in the morning? So they have something to do at night."

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana... and butterflies like margarine."

"Hey, car guys, I got a joke for you the Toyota Prius."

"Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !"