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Joke of the Day

"The fact that we're supposed to reuse a vagina after a mini human has crawled out of it kinda bums me out."

"I feed my cat lemons. He's a real sour puss."

"Madonna is talking with the Spice Girls Says she wants to sponsor a reunion tour so long as she can join them. The girls agree to condition. They call her Old Spice."

"Have you heard of the band 150 megabytes? No? Not surprised, they don't have any gigs yet."

"My career is in ruins. It's fucking great being an archaeologist."

"What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!"

"Why is pound cake called pound cake? Because it pounds your anus!"

"TIL That I Shouldn't have gone to law school, because everyone in /r/news already has their law degree"

"When you cook duck you should always add a little bit of goose It makes a game out of every bite."

"A friend of mine just got fired from his job as a butcher. Apparently he was offal."