154544

Joke of the Day

"My son just told me he wouldn't kill baby Hitler b/c of what that would do to the space program. Not 100% sure if he's a Nazi or just a nerd"

"This Teenage girl gave me attitude today so I called her the ""Fattest Skinny person I have ever seen"" that should confuse her for a while."

"Do you know why ants are so healthy? Because they have little antibodies..."

"How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish? Once."

"Women are like magnets... I have no clue how they work."

"I call my dick MySpace No one's on it."

"How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie"

"I literally use hyperbole seven billion times a day."

"Art of falling apart I know an art dealer who thought Picasso's work was utter rubbish and wouldn't stock it in his gallery. He's laughing on the other side of his face now!"

"How Can You Tell When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer? The power is on and you're connected to the internet."