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Joke of the Day
"I literally use hyperbole seven billion times a day."
Next Joke
"What do you call a girl with two dicks right by her face? Cockeyed. Thought of this one in LA traffic! Hope I made it up..."
"I never bought candy bars from those kids on my doorstep so I guess they're all in gangs now."
"Interviewer: So when did you decide you wanted to be a sumo wrestler? Me: When someone tried to get me onto the dancefloor at a wedding."
"I had a joke about bones... I cant remember the punchline but i remember it was really humerous"
"What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter? Cairo-practor."
"what kind of bees make milk? BOOBEES!"
"Dog ate raw chicken so I called the vet to see what I could do He asked what I think they eat in the wild. Basically, he called me an idiot"
"A sweet treat. I find my sex life is a lot like Nutella. Everyone loves it and has it all the time, and I'm just sitting in bed alone with a box of Ritz crackers."
"If I had a dollar for ever time someone told me my generation sucks.... Maybe I could pay my student loans."