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Joke of the Day

"This Teenage girl gave me attitude today so I called her the ""Fattest Skinny person I have ever seen"" that should confuse her for a while."

"Kid: How did you meet daddy? Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion..."

"What is it called when a guy called Justin gets justice? Justinice."

"Do you know why you will never go hungry in the desert? Because of the sand which is there. *edit: because of the sandwiches there....."

"What's the worst single thing you could do to someone? Start dating them"

"Seven billion other people in the world and not one of them are naked in front of me right now. That just isn't right"

"There seems to be a direct correlation between how many rosaries you have hanging on your rearview and how shitty a driver you are."

"If I ever lose my phone I want Liam Neeson looking for it"

"Why did the snowman start smiling Because he saw the snow blower coming"

"The Constipated Mathematician What did the constipated mathematician do? He worked it out with a pencil."