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Joke of the Day

"A guy called into work on his last day there and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ... ""I'm not coming into work this morning."

"Meanwhile, at School: Teacher- ""How much is a gram?"" Laure- ""Depends on what you want"" Teacher- ""Out, just get out"" #YouOwnedHimDude"

"It only took three beers before I could tell my kid her Barbie Dream House is in foreclosure. She's such a lightweight."

"What do a woman and a toilet seat have in common? Without a hole in the middle they wouldn't be good for shit. (Wife told me this one)"

"My father used to be a soap dealer... ...Don't worry, he's squeaky clean now."

"Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends."

"What do you call a dumb seal? An imbeseal"

"What's the difference between an epileptic farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? The farmer shucks between fits!"

"Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane. Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force."

"The Insurmountable problem by Major Setback"