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Joke of the Day

"When you die your voice gets added to the Big Bang Theory laugh track."

"Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose."

"Sisters are like fat thighs They stick together."

"DOCTOR: Does it hurt when I do this? *takes you out several times then acts distant*"

"If I had a dollar for every time I read ""OP is a racist"" I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read"

"Say no to drugs. Although if you're talking to drugs you may already be on drugs."

"What do you call a bison that's sick to his stomach? A barffalo"

"It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"How many pictures of the sky until we are satisfied as a people"

"Although not as effective as finger quotes, finger commas and finger periods are way fun."