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Joke of the Day

"DOCTOR: Does it hurt when I do this? *takes you out several times then acts distant*"

"Went in for a tonsillectomy. Surgeon did a frontal lobectomy instead. I complained... ... really gave 'em a piece of my mind!"

"Police: ""How high are you?"" Me: ""No officer. It's Hi, how are you?"""

"I hope this Hurricane is a Joaquin the park ;)"

"Trying to make a list of things that are worse than Mondays and all I've got so far is Hitler and Christian Rock."

"When people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"""

"I just made up a joke. Knock knock... Who's there? A mister. A mister who? A mister rains down in Africa. ... works better if you say it out loud."

"How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day? Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours."

"U.S found oil in foreign land soil and instantly reported serious shortage of democracy there"

"just so you know the guacamole costs an extra $1.80 plus one of your arms and the soul of your first born child thanks for choosing chipotle"