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Joke of the Day

"""The bond's Name. James Name"" Pleased to... what? ""Bond Name's the james"" Are you alright? ""Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"""

"Where does Dracula buy his pencils? Pennsylvania."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum? With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!"

"Why do white girls help fight heartburn? Because they're so basic."

"Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired."

"Have you ever tasted traditional Ethiopian food? Neither have they. I'll show myself out."

"A Texas woman found a snake head in a bag of green beans. Meaning someone will be finding a bean in their bag of snake heads."

"WIFE: I can't believe you slept with my twin thinking it was me ME: Cut me some slack he was wearing your perfume"

"Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed."

"You ever get off the toilet and think... Man, was I full of shit!"