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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a mass transit system that also cares deeply about humanitarian work? A Bonorail."

"Did you hear about the dislexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog."

"I have a particular disease for which I deny the existence of some 80s bands There is no cure"

"I was going to make a illegal immigrant joke But I wouldn't want to cross that border"

"They have free mints in the movie theater bathrooms. Wife: ""GROSS, who eats mints from the bathroom?!"" Me: (Mouth full of mints) ""I KNOW!"""

"How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him."

"What did the Olympic size swimming pool say to the kiddie pool? I can't be your friend anymore you're just too shallow!"

"This year, measuring your accomplishments against Lindsay Lohan's will ensure you feel like a winner merely for avoiding the penal system."

"My problem is, I'm about 30% stud, and 70% muffin."

"Q: What did the tire say to the tire? A: I'm tired!"