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Joke of the Day

"My problem is, I'm about 30% stud, and 70% muffin."

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"""NO NO NO NO"" - the guy who invented folding chairs watching a wrestling match"
"Hitler was a keen golfer..... He even wrote a book on it, it was titled 'How to get out of a bunker with one shot.'"
"A geneticist is having sex... During foreplay, the geneticist's partner kept moaning ""Aug, aug, AUG!"" The geneticist later proclaims, ""I don't know where to start!"""
"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles"
"So the Middle Eastern restaurant near my house has been selling baby meat I regret ordering the 'pita platter of tiny feet'"
"""Daddy why is Santa's sack so big?"" daughter asked, ""because he only comes once a year darling""."
"How does Craig Venter drink beer? Shotgun method"
"Two guys in Ohio die and wake up in hell The paramedics revived them"
"Today, I was beaten up by this woman ... I was in the elevator when this busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, ""Would you please press one."" So I did."