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Joke of the Day

"They have free mints in the movie theater bathrooms. Wife: ""GROSS, who eats mints from the bathroom?!"" Me: (Mouth full of mints) ""I KNOW!"""

"The evil tongues speak ill. The good tongues give orgasms."

"Do you know what number does the German Scrum-Half have on their back? Nein"

"When girls or any women ask you ""What?"" In reply, it isn't because they didn't hear you. Its because they are giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said."

"""But... I can fix us!"" the rocket scientist sobbed, as his wife picked up her suitcase. ""Jim,"" she whispered. ""This isn't rocket science."""

"What do you call a really annoying Jewish women? ....Ausbitch."

"What do you call a cow who has just had an abortion? De-calf-inated"

"Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese."

"Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position? He just couldn't hold it any longer."

"Once this whole ""global warming thing"" melts the ice caps We're gonna have a canoe world order."