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Joke of the Day

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again! "

"Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them."

"COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody"

"What type of writing makes the most money? Ransom notes."

"Why did the hoagie go to the shrink? He was having problems with his sub-conscious."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... ..."

"How to Properly Jump a Car Attach a cable to the red positive lead, then beat the negative lead for being black."

"What's the difference between hematologists and urologists? A hematologist pricks fingers."

"What is the first derivative of a cow? A prime rib."

"I heard the news about Mr. Ali's passing... I was pretty upset. So why am I in the mood for a giant chocolate shake?"