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Joke of the Day
"Two snares and a cymbal falls off a cliff BADUMTSSSS"
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"How many Communists does is take to screw in a light bulb? All of them."
"It seems kid of arbitrary that people want their skin to be tan and their teeth to be white. In Opposite Land, I must be a fuckin' hottie."
"Someone asked me why I only date terminal cancer patients... They asked if I did it to show them love during their waning months, which is a nice thought. But I'm really just bad with commitment."
"My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring"
"The Rock is going to have a kid, which they'll name Pebbles."
"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion of this world is that people are used and things are loved."
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"What do you call paddling down a river of skim milk? white water rafting."