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Joke of the Day
"I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid."
Next Joke
"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""
"Why is it hard to break up with a Star Trek fan? Because they are such Kling-ons."
"Why was e^x so lonely at the party? Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself."
"A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The seals says, ""Anything but a Canadian Club."""
"*hires skywriter* YOU CAN'T BLOCK ME"
"Q: What do you call a male quartet? A: Three men and a tenor."
"Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail."
"Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. - watching the Olympics with my wife"
"Well, I was going to make a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy..."