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Joke of the Day

"Son asks his father... Son: Dad, how do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your brother. Son: But I don't have a brother. Dad: Exactly."

"So I hear Reddit likes cats. Anyone ever hear the joke about the cat on the roof? Ehhh never mind. It's over your head."

"My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch"

"There's a band called 1023 MB. They haven't had a gig yet."

"Man, I'd give my first born to be able to have a kid someday"

"""We will never forget."" Of course not, we're brainwashed and controlled by fear."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side."

"Standing in the liquor store, trying to decide if tonight's dose of self-loathing and regret should have a screw-top or a cork."

"Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum? The website required him to prove that he is not a robot."

"What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner? A pan, duh!"