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Joke of the Day

"I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn't locate the manual."

"What do you get when a cow jumps in cold water? Utter udder shudder."

"Q: How do you make anti-freeze? A: Take away her blanket."

"Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine."

"Bloke walks up and asks ""Do you prefer long legs or short?"", so I reply ""I prefer something in between"""

"Waiter is there soup on the menu ? No madam I wiped it off !"

"What do you call a Nazi who survived the war? A veterinarian"

"SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw* CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!"

"If you watch The Ring backwards it's about a young Asian girl who emerges from a well to start a 7 day VCR repair company."

"What happened in France? Did they release a GTA Go?"