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Joke of the Day

"I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn't locate the manual."

"If your girl tells you ""Deeper!"" and that's all you got, just start reading poetry."

"What's black and brown on the inside and blue and white on the outside? Jail"

"To teach my kids about the election I let them vote for dinner. They voted for pizza so I made tacos to teach them their vote doesn't matter anyway."

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he will eat for a week."

"So my friend came to me for help with his problems, but I really had to go to the bathroom... I left telling him I had shit to do, but really I had a shit to take and no shit to give."

"My brother won a prize for staying in a hospital bed for a really long time. He got a trophy."

"There was a kidnapping in my school today. Thank god he woke up."

"Bought a new Shakespeare sat-nav - It gets me from A to B or not to B."

"Stevie wonder just got divorced. Bet he didn't see that one coming."