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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a joke about potassium? K. I was gonna tell a joke about sodium but then I was like, Na."

"Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to Both of us have fantasies with Trump's daughter"

"What car does Catwoman drive? A Purrgeot."

"[meeting at amc network] ""Okay so how can we make everyone in Walking Dead look like they smell even worse this season?"""

"Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription."

"Came with our Christmas cracker Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar? A: He got 25 days."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks! And it sucks *hard*. ( )"

"A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk. She's got a false bottom in her drawers. Just thought of that one today."

"I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is... He responded with June, July, and August"

"My bra has felt way too tight all day. Sorry I just had to get that off my chest."