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Joke of the Day
"Russia doesn't have a online TV streaming service. It's called Nyet-Flix."
Next Joke
"Cats won't give away your position when someone knocks on the door. They hide with you, like understanding furry ninjas."
"You call me a whore? All I have to say is that my legs are as open as Walmart at midnight"
"[first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed."
"In my free time I help blind children I usually find throwing pencils is the most efficient method"
"What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle."
"If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to shit yourself when you see everything else going on in the world."
"Ever find yourself masturbating and realize that you've already watched this episode of Trading Spaces?"
"My browser asks ""are you sure?"" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history"
"In last night's debate Rick Santorum said ""I can win blue states"" bwahahahahahahhahahha"