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Joke of the Day

"If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to shit yourself when you see everything else going on in the world."

"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."

"What is black and knocking on the window from the inside? A baby in the oven."

"God gives everyone a hot cousin to test us."

"Why did Simba's father die? He couldn't Move Fasa"

"How does NASA prepare for an organized event? They planet!"

"The phrase, ""Don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate"

"A man walks into a bar And subsequently loses the hurdles race in the Olympics, bringing shame to himself and his country"

"Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose."

"A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken pulls out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, upset, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and says, ""I guess we answered that question!"""