154216

Joke of the Day

"I saw an old couple sharing a newspaper and was like ""oh wow maybe marriage is cool"" and then the lady said ""STOP BREATHING ON ME"""

"Whats the difference between a joke and three dicks? Your mom cant take a joke."

"I couldn't remember what time the sun was set to rise this morning. But then it dawned on me."

"What's the most powerful part of a french tank Reverse gear"

"Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed."

"Don't tease fat girls; elephants never forget."

"Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they ""hate it""!! They are the real heroes."

"My mom asked if i would stop singing Wonderwall by Oasis... I said ""Maybe""."

"what do you get when you mix 9th grade literature with alcohol? Tequila mockingbird."

"Things you can't touch: 1. Happines 2. The Easter Bunny 3. Your wife's sister 4. This"