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Joke of the Day

"What's the most powerful part of a french tank Reverse gear"

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"My ex-wife was deaf. she left me for a deaf friend of hers i should have seen the signs."
"That moment when the music stops playing at the gym and the whole room sounds like gay porn."
"A mexican boy in english class... A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched ""WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"" To which he replied, ""writing an ese"""
"I'm so hungry I could eat this piece of paper. *adds salt to resume*"
"So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her ""What width?"" She replied: ""with scissors of course."""
"I was just adoringly watching my dog sleep and he woke up and caught me and now he thinks I'm some stalker weirdo."
"One injured in Greyhound rollover in Texas. But the rest of the puppies are fine."
"Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point."
"Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop."