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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the grocery store and a math book? In a math book I can buy 57 papayas at $1.99 each and no one will care."

"How do you turn soup into gold? You add 24 carats!"

"Come on, there has got to be at least one business like show business."

"COP: don't worry sir, we'll find your kids as soon as we can. ME: no hurry."

"I lost my virginity to my priest... ... he told me to pray to St. Anthony"

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"Keeping busy in prison"

"Having a talk about drugs with my 11 yr old, and she said ""If I'm going to do anything, it will be hot boys."" I think I just had a stroke."

"Me: I'm nervous about mingling at the party Wife: Just talk about stuff anyone can relate to [Party] Me: HI I UNDERSTAND YOU TOO ARE HUMAN"

"Will you marry me? Will you marry me = a marriage proposal Will, you, Marry, me = a foursome proposal"