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Joke of the Day

"What's the generic for Viagra? Mycoxafloppin"

"Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner? He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Why did Microsoft skip to Windows 10? Because 7 8 9. (For those that haven't heard the news: http://www.polygon.com/2014/9/30/6873967/windows-10-announced-microsoft-pc)"

"Me when my friends are sad: 268 text messages of advice and tell them how perfect they are. Then when I'm sad: Oh, sorry ."

"I only entered the witness protection program for the free plastic surgery."

"Why do Japanese people love mechs so much? Because of all the metal in their brains."

"Dilemma If you had to choose between your wife or a million dollars, which car would you buy first?"

"What do you call a cookie without legs? A cookie"

"911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY"

"What did the farmer say when someone pooped into his water source? Well shit..."