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Joke of the Day

"911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY"

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"What do you call a Mexican who can't find parking. Noe. E-or estacionar is park in Spanish."

"Actor Jim Carrey vehemently denounced California's new vaccination requirement for all school-age children because it would render them immune to the childhood disease of being a fan of Jim Carrey."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? None!"

"What is a cat's favorite color? Purrple"

"Why do they call it a chicken coupe? If it had 4 doors it'd be a chicken sedan."

"How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hehe... 'screw' Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one."

"Paul Walker proves god is real ! Paul Walker was meant to walk, but he took a car and god punished him for not walking. This proves that - Atheist: 0 Theist: 1"

"Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street...... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close."