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Joke of the Day

"Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions)."

"What has 72 teeth and holds back the hulk? My zipper."

"I'll do algebra. I'll do trigonometry. I'll even do calculus! But graphing is simply where I draw the line."

"Just went sledding for the first time I liked it until I got on the sled. It was all down hill from there."

"Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called ""Societal Obligation."""

"My friend told me he hasn't pooped in over a month, but I'm not sure I believe him... ...either way he's full of shit."

"Seeing Kenya on a map is like seeing a pussy for the first time. It's lower than I thought it was."

"A guy goes to the doctor Doctor: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating. Guy: Really, doc?! Like, forever? Doctor: No, just for a few minutes, so I can examine you."

"Yo momma's so fat... I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing!"

"What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe."