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Joke of the Day

"If there's one thing Trump should have learned from history... It's that the theater has NEVER been a safe space for presidents."

"*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now."

"What did the Chinese fisherman say to his at-risk son? Stay on the junk, and you'll go far."

"How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They gave her a basketball and told her to read."

"I like to stare at a Priest & say ""You wore that same outfit last week"" so he thinks I go to church every week & knows I'm on to his shit."

"If you're cold go and stand in the corner... I've heard they're about 90 Degrees."

"Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces? Submarines."

"Putting my grades up for adoption... Because I can't raise them."

"Hey Customer Service Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it?!?"

"Lawyer: The defense rests Judge: Counselor, your rebuttal? Lawyer: HAHAHA that sounded like ""you're a butthole"" Judge: LOLOLOL #Buttle"