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Joke of the Day
"""You can't have your cake and eat it too"" People that don't know how cake works."
Next Joke
"Chicken Pot Pie sounds like a delicious 3 course meal."
"How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI? The cigarette."
"To Do List: 1) You."
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
"My ex-girlfriend often told me to stop being so competitive. Like I was ever going to let her come first."
"How do you make a girl gain weight? Marry her."
"Just told a couple disbelieving millennials about how we used to have to poop without cell phones."
"My favorite moment is the 5 minutes every day when coffee overlaps with wine."
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Impossible. Feminists can't change anything."