191177
Joke of the Day
"To Do List: 1) You."
Next Joke
"I'm sick of pretending. I'm ready to tend!"
"The first thing you'll need if you're planning on stealing an ostrich from the zoo is a car with a sunroof"
"Has anyone else's world ended yet? Mayan hasn't."
"I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said... ""Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."""
"Why did the band 999 megabytes break up? Because they couldn't get a gig."
"To a lot of Americans these days, Donald Trump is just starting to sound like a lot of white noise."
"I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... Must have been mitoastis"
"Funny tounge twister A black mailman getting blackmailed. (Not trying to offend its just a funny sounding word combo.)"
"Why does a priest never get married? Because they got nun to love them"