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Joke of the Day

"There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things."

"Recently my girlfriend has got into equestrian bdsm Last evening she asked me to watch her whip, then watch her nay nay"

"I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist."

"If you're looking for someone to mute the National Geographics channel and narrate the animals thoughts, look no further."

"Because of my thyroid condition, my parents made me join a support group as a kid. This one time, at gland camp..."

"Gays are leading the fight against overpopulation and we need to join them in this fight before it's too late! But first..."

"If tampons are ""sanitary napkins""... ...how unsanitary must regular napkins be?"

"I keep telling Redditors ADHD doesn't actually exi..... ....hey look, a birdie!"

"Nobody gets treated worse than a McDonald's worker who gets an order wrong. ""Um this was SUPPOSED to be a LARGE fry! UnFUCKINGbelievable!"""

"What is a tick's favorite fruit? Lime."