153661

Joke of the Day

"Dear Hollywood, after all the 3D movies, I've decided my 3 favorite dimensions are: 1) width, 2) height, and 3) character development."

"What do you call a digital video recorder that cuts down trees and builds dams? A bvr"

"Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie? To-mate-toes!"

"I'm actually kind of handsome when you're drunk and the light is low and there's no other dudes around and you have low standards."

"What do you call a an Egyptian crocodile who swears they live in Florida? In da-Nile"

"Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. "

"How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth? Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom."

"What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner? ""No thanks, I'm stuffed."""

"When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?"

"If Slash made a joke... Does he tip his hat or drop his guitar?"