153591

Joke of the Day

"I set up a camera to record my wife for our sex tape I didn't realize it was motion activated so it didn't record a thing."

"My friends always at the gym, so I invited him to a social even for a change. He responds, ""Can't come, they don't allow guns in there. I would have to cut off both my arms"""

"Japan won't get Fallout 4 until December 17th, but that's okay, they got the original fallout 70 years before us."

"me: ""okay I might as well just say it..I love you"" girl dinosaur: ""omg u have no idea how long I've waited for u to say that!"" *meteorite*"

"Why was the Japanese man so careful when walking in his house? It was made of pranks."

"TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween.. guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors"

"What is posthumous work ? Something written by someone after they are dead !"

"My son has the ability to predict what will happen in the future and later explain why it didn't happen. I think I'm raising a politician."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms."

"How do you get even with Hellen Keller? (Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"