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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat... You have to yell OMNIKIN before you kick her."

"Oh I'm sorry.. I didn't know it was ""bring your feelings to work day""."

"Good news! I'm not a 30 year old virgin anymore! Happy birthday to me!"

"You never know what you've got until... you clean your room."

"FACT: If you can trick a British person into saying ""fortnight"" they have to become your butler."

"A boy asks for a pink ping pong ball... a boy comes downstairs and asks for a pink ping pong ball. ""don't you start that again."" says the mom."

"If you don't like the way women drive, Stay off the sidewalk."

"Think of a thing. Theres an e cig flavor for that."

"What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"Just saw a large group of 20 yr olds saying a blessing before eating. Then I realized they were all just looking at their phones."