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Joke of the Day

"Disappointed to learn that landlady' isn't the opposite of a mermaid."

"A man asks a trainer in the gym: ""I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?"" Trainer replies: ""Use the ATM"""

"I spilled water on my computer. 0/10. 10/10 with rice."

"Priorities They say people have their best ideas in the shower. I'm mostly trying to remember to wash my face before I wash my ass."

"You can't blame me for making jokes about the earthquake. It's not my fault."

"Why Does Captain Kirk Have 3 Ears? He's got his left ear, his right ear...and the final front ear."

"Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"Shouldn't russia have the mos dairy? Cause you know, They have the moscow? Sorry for the cheesy joke :/"

"Chinese Takeaway - 24 Petrol To pick it up - 2 Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers. Riceless"

"How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin? When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me."