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Joke of the Day

"I tried to wear skinny jeans but it squeezed all my flesh into the top half of my body and made me look like a novelty balloon."

Next Joke
 
"Aw, I would love to keep up with the Kardashians. But being a 'pregnant-solar-powered-douche-magnet' is an art form I haven't yet perfected."
"Are you guys all right? Or are you all left?"
"Why do white girls travel in groups of 3? Because they can't even"
"Haters gonna hate. Procrastinaters gonna ... get back to you on that tomorrow..."
"Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar... OMg!"
"How do you circumcised a whale? Four skin divers"
"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's six years in a row now"
"Words can't possibly describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can 4/10"
"Mathematically speaking.. The average person is mean. :-)"