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Joke of the Day
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts."
Next Joke
"What is it? It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow"
"How do deer get revenge? By giving each other a taste of their own venison"
"What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth? Gladiator"
"fyi, drug mule does not mean youll be getting stoned and riding around on a donkey... worst first day ever"
"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing."
"What do you call a criminal jazz player? Felonius Monk!"
"[leaving 5 minute voicemail] ...and you can reach me at [deep breath] *says phone number as fast as possible, slurring the numbers together*"
"Who's going to lose the upcoming election? Society."
"I ate too many rowing paddles Now I feel oar-full"