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Joke of the Day

"If a girl elongates her words when she's texting me, I know she's down to fuckkkk, developmentally disabled, or bothhhhh."

"What's a programmer's least favorite wind instrument? The OBOE."

"Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: ""Mmmwaaaaaaaooooomm!"" The second whale looks over and and says: ""Dude, you're really drunk."""

"Small cars are the best ones Only Smart people will get this"

"Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car."

"Geometry Joke. So I was in my Geometry class and my teacher was giving us a ton of homework. So I said to her ""stop being an angle side side."" Edit: thanks hypervelocityvomit."

"I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it."

"Count Dooku has always been puzzled by his wife, Sue."

"Autocorrect can be a real birch. Dammit!"

"STOP HITTING ON MY TWITTER CRUSH YOU... YOU... EQUALLY UNKNOWN INTERNET DUDE!"