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Joke of the Day

"i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami"

"Two peanuts walk into an elevator One was Ray Rice and the other was assaulted."

"A man was arrested today for masturbating on a subway. Apparently, it's a crime to be metrosexual."

"Dear son, your art is getting you nowhere. Do something with your life. With love, Alois Hitler."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? a canoe tips."

"Two toothpicks are walking the forest. When all of a sudden a hedgehog walks by. The one toothpick says to the other, ""When did this place get a bus?"""

"Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the ""Grease"" soundtrack."

"I didn't wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed, now I'm worried about my vagina."

"*thinks happy thoughts* *throws pixie dust in your eyes* *flies off with all your money*"

"Let's bring back the word HOOTENANNY"