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Joke of the Day
"All my jokes are lost baggage... You'll get them in a couple days"
Next Joke
"*whispering to my newborn son* weed is tight. im siked for u to try it son. im so excited for you. i love you"
"Two muffins are in an oven The first one says, ""Boy, it sure is hot in here."" The second one says, ""Oh my god, it's a talking muffin!"""
"How many Marines does it take to change a lightbulb? Four, one to change it and three to comment on the changing."
"My father used to say ""Take everything with a pinch of salt"" Nice man. Made terrible tea."
"What is the difference between pot and pussy? If you can smell the pussy across the room, it's probably not the good stuff."
"What's the difference between Snow-men and Snow-women? Snowballs."
"Helping a gang of squirrels buy remote control cars against my better judgment."
"Did you hear that Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15 and a half years? But he was happy with it cause it was under 18."
"What's the difference... ...between Mick Jagger and an angry Scotsman? One says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says ""Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"""