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Joke of the Day

"*whispering to my newborn son* weed is tight. im siked for u to try it son. im so excited for you. i love you"

"I really needed something positive in my life so I finally got tested."

"My brother told me hates my beard. I said ""Don't worry, it will grow on you"""

"I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers... I said, ""Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."""

"How are men like fuses? Once they're blown, they're useless."

"I'm the man putting sexy... .... back into dyslexic."

"When does a fuckboy become a fuckman? At his bar mitzfuck."

"Did you hear the one about the peanut who rode the subway? He was a salted. Sexually. He was a salted sexually. . . .there's nothing funny about that."

"If I had a dozen muffins and Carlos took 13 away from me, what do I have now? A math problem"

"What is the first rule of Woman`s fight club? Never tell anyone what are you so mad about"