212180

Joke of the Day

"A Bitter Army Veteran storms into a classroom and shouts ""If it weren't for me you'd all be speaking German!"" ""That's right"" replies the German teacher."

"Sure, as a white man I can't say the n word... But I can say things like, ""thanks for the warning officer"" and ""hey dad""."

"I am not going to joke about muslims and islam because.. I don't want the last thing I am going to hear to be: ""ALLAHU AKBAR!!"" and the sound of an explosion."

"[Ouija Board] ""Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets"" You'll die soon ""OMG HOW"" Hold on I have another call"

"People the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you."

"Why was the heroin dealer arrested at the basketball game? He was talking smack."

"What does a hippy say when you ask him to leave? Namaste"

"Do you remember blowing Bubbles as a kid? Well he's back in town."

"Why did the Irish call their currency the ""Punt"" ? Because it rhymes with Bank Manager"

"A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants... They're up for grabs."