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Joke of the Day

"*wakes up after all night party* *rolls over* *rolls over* *rolls over* How did I get on this escalator?"

"What did the blonde say when she saw a banana peel? aw shit imma fall again"

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race!"

"I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things."

"Did you hear about the bike race that goes all the way across Norway and Sweden? It ends at the Finnish line."

"My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs."

"What's black and doesn't work? Half of London"

"Why don't the people of Pompeii like volcanoes? Because they're all dead. As told by my best friend, in light of the Indian joke."

"Notice anything? B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W Y Z Because Apple removed the AUX *cue snare drum*"

"My wife wants to have the baby listen to classical music while in the womb. Would an ipod nano or shuffle be easier to get up there?"