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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it is always down the chimney."

"All my life, I never thought I'd wake up at 6am to go jogging...and I was right."

"Removing her clothes"

"Why is the oval office oval shaped? Because the government cuts corners."

"So I developed a new biological weapon the other day... But then another mad scientist called me out, saying he developed the exact same thing a week before. He sued me for plaugeirizing."

"I cried during that sad part of Titanic, when Rose threw that beautiful diamond in the ocean."

"I'm having an out-of-money experience."

"Just found out a spider's been living in my shower. Just hanging out. Quietly. Watching me. So, long story short, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND!"

"A lion would probably call a Kenyan runner fast food."

"If you get nervous when the IT support desk takes control of your computer remember they're whispering ""no weirdos please"" to themselves."