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Joke of the Day

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing. Edit: ( )"

"You can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don't have to fill out a form or anything."

"I'd really love to study Philosophy... But I Kant."

"Two flies are sitting on a toilet. One gets pissed off."

"How do you circumcised a whale? Four skin divers"

"My brother pointed to his coffee table and said ""those are my new gloves"" He's always making off-hand remarks like that"

"What did Sean Connery do when he saw a guy drowning? he started undressing and yelled 'I will shave you'"

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"I love my electric toothbrush, but sometimes I just have to break out the acoustic."

"How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital? The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!"