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Joke of the Day

"Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker."

"A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert."

"I'll bet Petr Pan lives in Nether Netherland."

"Real laziness is being excited when plans get canceled."

"My friend says he's doing good he means well"

"Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He took a bite before it was cool."

"Girl, are you a homeless horse? Because you look unstable."

"Teen girl in mirror ""I look like death!"" [Meanwhile in Hell] Death scoffs & flips his hair ""Yeah, as if"""

"What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile? * Rolls * Rice"

"This Vietnamese couple I knew got married... Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."