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Joke of the Day

"My brother pointed to his coffee table and said ""those are my new gloves"" He's always making off-hand remarks like that"

"Fact: If you get pulled over, as the cop is walking up to you, place an aluminum foil hat on your head and you disappear from his vision."

"Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?"

"Excuse me miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there."

"What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and the other will see you in a while."

"A woman calls the police claiming a one armed man is trying to kill her... They say to her ""don't worry about him mam, he's hARMLESS."""

"Anti... ...Cipation!"

"Why does The Rock love Sonic the Hedgehog? ***""IT DOESN'T MATTER""!***"

"What Does a Gynecologist and a Pizza worker have in common? They both get to smell it, but neither gets to eat it."

"Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets? They take the senor discount."